Clumsy Goose Farm Muscle Tank

The "Honest Effort" Muscle Tank

Look, we tried to keep this one pristine, but let’s be real—it’s probably going to end up with a coffee drip or a stray smear of coop dirt within five minutes. Lightweight and breezy, this tank features a low-key trio of our resident geese right on the chest (who, for the record, were completely uncooperative during the design process).

It’s tailor-made for early mornings, chasing runaway ducklings, and kicking off muddy boots that somehow always end up cluttering the back porch. Sleeveless cut so your arms are free to haul feed bags, browse the farmers market, or aggressively wave off overly confident roosters. Simple, comfortable, and easy to throw under a worn-out flannel when the afternoon breeze rolls over the pasture.

Why It’s Actually Great (Farm-Tested Features)

• Sturdy Side Seams: Holds its shape, even after you trip over a bucket and pull a muscle catching yourself.
• Tear-Away Label: No itchy tags distracting you while you're trying to count fresh eggs.
• Pre-Shrunk Fabric: Keeps its fit, because washing machine surprises are the last thing you need today.
• Retail Fit: Modern, flattering silhouette that distracts from the fact that you haven't combed your hair yet.
• Unisex Sizing: Looks good on anyone brave enough to share a fence line with our geese.

How to Not Ruin It (Care Instructions)

• Machine Wash: Cold (max 30°C / 90°F), gentle cycle (treat it nicer than the geese treat the flowerbeds).
• Bleach: Non-chlorine only, as needed (for when the mud inevitably wins).
• Tumble Dry: Low heat.
• Iron, Steam, or Dry: Low heat (if you actually iron farm clothes, we admire your dedication).
• Do Not Dryclean: Seriously, don't bring chicken dust to the dry cleaner.